Reader matter:

we came across he two to three weeks in the past therefore we instantly hit it well. He is 20 and I am 18.

We agreed we would remain as buddies with advantages because i am leaving in two months for a time. For reasons uknown, he keeps revisiting the idea of merely becoming buddies, stating the guy likes myself nevertheless makes him put a wall up.

I told him it would be good if we just ceased talking so he’dn’t get any further feelings because the guy does not want currently, but he helps to keep stating he doesn’t want to end speaking.

Why does he send me combined signals? How do I determine what the guy wants?

-Brianna (Wisconsin)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Response:

Brianna,

When you describe your own union as friends with advantages, I assume you indicate intimate advantages. Also because you’re one leaving community, I get a sense you’re one who structured the connection this way.

He, however, didn’t have the majority of a choice. You’re going to be making, though he wanted more. Actually, I think your solution outside of the commitment was ab muscles thing that lured the two of you.

It’s a means to check a connection with the knowledge that either one of you can have an escape door at the two-month tag.

With contemporary connections becoming therefore delicate yet very pressured to own gender, people usually check out dip their unique toe in as a way to stay away from an agonizing break up.

Nevertheless bottom line is gender produces feelings. He could be giving you mixed indicators because the guy wants you! He is actually suggesting the «friends with benefits» charade is the wall structure he is starting.

My guidance: You shouldn’t mess with this guy’s cardiovascular system unless you desire a real relationship. In the event you, carry it up-and be precise regarding the requirements.

The elephant when you look at the family area seems too-big for either of you to ignore.

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